A Cup of (torinoric) IcedCocoa

In a crippling addiction to photos!

Why do I have an obsession with photography? Why do I carry a camera almost everytime even when I end up with no photos taken and that for many times it'll look worse than most of iphone photos?

Photography feels somewhat like a tool-assisted speedrun, a form of art created with the assistance of machine. Even when considering all the steps needed before the shot, chemicals-digital reactions within the machine and the post-editing process, it's still more of making a decision by pressing the shutter button. And pressing that shutter button does not involve holding and swinging a pen for hours, recording and fidding with audio tracks, or even just holding a camera and the breath for at least a minute. In the end it's the moment of shutter press that decides and defines the quality of piece, and for most of the time it can be done with less than 1/60th of a second.

So why is this making photography special? I find the value of photography in that it's an art made by one's senses. Maybe there can be some thoughts involved, especially ones like stage and studio shots, but even for then I believe senses are the core foundations for every kind of photography. I see photography as to preserve the senses and the emotions you have felt in the moment, the visuals and the aesthetics you have felt at that scene that made you set up the camera and press the button. Photography is a journey of honing the senses, finding more beauty and more moments to preserve, and leave more marks of reflections.

As my head will not stop hurting myself with blames and possibilities, and current world only increasing hostilities towards everything and everyone, photography has been my cope. At least for the moment, I can shut down the funneling of negative thoughts and just focus on the scene and my senses. I can only think about what would make the perfect shot, what aperture, shutter speed, and ISO settings should I make. With the scene and my mind set, I put my two hands on the camera and the lens, and press the shutter button. The shutter curtain closes. Screen goes blank. Next shot ready, I repeat the process - for hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands... and millions of times.

Photography tells me the importance of life and existence. I live by the photography for the photography.